When I prayerfully choose a word for the year, I choose something I want to focus on, to cultivate. I read books focused on the word. I pray often about it. I look for it in Scripture. And all in all, I’ve been thankful for what I’ve learned so far in 2022.
But, God’s not done with me yet.
These past months without floors, being incredibly sick, and now desperately trying to get out of our house… having to get rid of a large number of our belongings, furniture, and our carefully crafted routines falling by the wayside… being content is challenging.
I know we have what matters. I know God is good. I know He is here with us. I know it could be worse. I know every single placating, yet real truth. Yet… contentment is hard.
Contentment is a choice. One I currently have to make moment by moment. Sometimes, I get it right. A lot of the times in the past two weeks, I get it wrong. It’s just my current reality.
I’m constantly checking my spirit…
Am I complaining or sharing?
Am I being ruled by my emotions?
Am I honoring God with my words and actions?
Am I teaching my children what it looks like to trust God in all things?
Am I practicing what I teach?
Am I submitting my needs, heart, fears, and anxieties to God?
Am I choosing to be grateful?
Am I focusing on what is true, kind, honorable, and of any excellence?
I may not control my emotions and feelings, but I can submit and surrender them. I can choose contentment. Here’s to God continuing to sanctify and discipline me. It’s not easy, but I’d much rather be where He wants me than where I think I should be.