To stay or go? Musings on social media and how we’ve changed

Back in the early 2000s, when you needed a college email address to join, I joined Facebook. It wasn’t a huge part of my life. In fact, during my early 20s, I have very few pictures of my life. We didn’t document our outfits, or where we went on vacation, let alone attempt to “influence” people with what products we used. Social media was a place to maybe message friends from high school that went to a different school.

Ten years later, I had friends start documenting their fitness progress. And I watched the platform become a place of “value”. Where ideas and tips were shared… where actual messages were exchanged to connect with others.

In 2013, I started my first foray into network marketing. Living in California, working as a personal trainer with my own business, I thought it would be a simplified way to help all my friends and family back home with their health goals. The company I partnered with had their own workouts, so instead of filming full length workouts myself for each client (I filmed plenty of short form videos for social media though), I could pick from a variety of theirs. It seemed a way to “work smarter, not harder”. For the next four years, I led online groups that truly allowed me to build sooooo many relationships with people across the country. I not only used my varying personal training certifications, but I also learned how to lead and coach a business. I read entrepreneurial books, attended sales trainings, and used my acting degree on camera as I taught others how to run their own business or how to modify their workouts. All through social media.

While that venture wasn’t as financially successful as I desired, it changed the way I viewed social media. With purpose. A place where I could be of value to others. Where I could truly connect and build relationships and help people create lasting change in their lives.

In 2017, I left that company and joined another network marketing company. My eye this time was on ease of duplication for those who joined me. It was on creating real income with simple strategies and products that people would need to order over and over. And I found it. In the first month, I made more than I did the previous year of my old company. And while this isn’t a blog post about network marketing, I believe a large part of the culture we see now on social media is because of it, so I’m sharing. The reason my business grew so incredibly quickly was because for four years, I shared value and built relationships. My online presence was based on real connections. So when I found an opportunity that was set up well, I thrived. By the end of my 5th month in business, I was leading a team of 20+ people. I hosted online trainings weekly in our FB group. I did live videos multiple times a week covering topics of business, parenting, and what God was teaching me. I was “present” online and all of this was documented through IG stories, posts, and videos. For roughly 15 months, I kept up this pace, until I started dealing with chronic illness. My business was full time income and it was done all online while my kiddos (2 of them at the time) napped or slept after bedtime. I worked online, meaning created content, shared, answered questions, sent saved videos I made, created resources for my team, organized FB groups, responded to messages for roughly 3-4 hours a day. Social media was my business platform.

Fast forward to today… in the past two years, I’ve been incredibly sick, discovered that that chronic illness that plagued me for 5 years was in fact mold toxicity, and had my 4th (and lost my 5th) child. My ability to create and teach has all but fled me. While I have tons of ideas and know how to implement them, I just don’t have the time, or maybe I no longer prioritize, sharing them on social media. Over the past couple of years, I’ve taken multiple breaks from the online space. The reasons have varied, but I I think it’s important to share some of them here.

This is probably my current biggest reason… the online space is just SO loud. Gone are the days where value for value sake is shared. And seen (without the algorithm showing us what we don’t want to see). Gone are the days where we humbly shared what helped us and it didn’t even look pretty. Yes, I still have lovely friends out there sharing honest, servant-hearted value, but I’m speaking to the majority. Everyone is an expert now. And guess what, all these experts have conflicting information. You can get lost in digging and researching and hours, days, weeks later be nowhere closer than before. And every single person has an endgame. Everyone is selling something. And while I have sold things online for over a decade, it was always tempered with value in a variety of topics. You log on today and within minutes, you have probably seen 20+ products you simply cannot live without. How do we wade through the noise? How are we to truly connect with people when in order to have a conversation, we have to pay? Or everything is so systemized that we are simply plugged into an email list, an automated course, or AI chat? It’s more than a mom of 4 children can handle at times. It’s just so loud.

The hard part of the deafening noise lies in not just the competing thoughts and ideas, but in seeing everyone serving where they are called (and here I am purposely speaking about Christians and my friends who have valuable, life-giving accounts). Even the most beautiful accounts are one person’s life and thoughts and where God has placed them. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact, I applaud their obedience. The problem lies in that in seeing their lives, it can make me question my own obedience. Time and time again, I pray over being online, selling (or not) again, sharing value (that I know God has graciously taught me), and each time I’m left with “not right now”. And while that may not be your circumstance, think about an account that pours life into you… does it also sometimes make you feel like you should be doing more? For instance, as God has called me to homeschool and be quiet in this season, if I’m online, I fight my flesh in wanting to share about it. I want to be like Jennifer Pepito from the Peaceful Press or Abbie Halderstadt (I think I spelled that wrong) from M is for Mama. Their accounts are absolutely valuable, but in seeing them, I struggle with not wanting to do what they are doing, especially when I have SO much to say. And then I’m back praying and God reminds me… “not right now”. But this tension it creates… it’s just not necessary, and dare I say, it may be stopping me from being 100% where God has me in this season.

Are you following me?

Social media isn’t all bad. But it is loud. It is distracting. And it is all about the eyes. I’ve always heard it taught that the beginning of sin started with the eyes.

“So when the woman SAW that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” Genesis‬ ‭3‬:‭6‬ (emphasis added)

We SEE a lot on social media. Way more than what God has placed in our immediate surroundings. Arguably, way more than our minds can process and handle, which leads to overwhelm, anxiety, and disorder. But also, we see things that are NOT for us. Things that let in the whisper of the enemy and make us doubt whether or not what God has for us is in fact, good. And while sometimes, we are strong to withstand the temptations of the enemy, by God’s grace, there are others we are not. So it begs the question, do I let myself be tempted?

“Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” James 1:13-15

According to that Scripture, I am being tempted by my own desire. Which in the full canon of Scripture leads me to believe that I am not crucifying my flesh… I am not laying down my life. I am not turning from sin. I am not being restored by the renewing of my mind. In fact, I’m choosing things that feed my selfish focus and desires.

And while I recognize that there are godly accounts and plenty of people that remind us of these truths, our feeds are not only filled with those accounts. The algorithm and ads infiltrate our feeds. The sales focus of social media breaks through the good. It’s a world of two masters.

 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,[a] your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy,[b] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:22-24

At best, social media is creating conflict.

At worst, it’s causing us to be so distracted by our own sinful desires (however, “innocent” they may be) and disobey the Lord.

We can become so focused living online, that our world offline suffers. We can be so enamored with what we see there, that we lose opportunities to serve in the here and now. The people around us suffer. Our families suffer. Our local church suffers.

You may be reading this and thinking that this doesn’t apply to everyone. And that’s fine. I’m not here to convict you, but I did feel the need to share what I’ve been learning in my months away from social media. I was a person who poured her ministry into the online space. I believe that God called me there. Just as I believe He has called me away. And He may have called you there too and for that I applaud your obedience. Our paths don’t have to be the same. My goal in sharing is maybe to encourage those who don’t know which way to go… who feel conflicted and need a different perspective. Or maybe I just want you who have followed me for so many years to know why I’m gone. Why I’m given up my businesses and my platform that I worked so hard to build. The connections I made were very real. God taught me so much and maybe I’ll share that on another blog one day. But, for now, I feel like God wants me to live by faith, not sight. He wants my eyes on Him and the people He puts in front of me. He’s keeping me from the temptation to covet.

“You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.” Exodus 20:17

When I question what God has already answered, it distracts me from the gifts He has placed in front of me. When I look around and see others with things I’ve been praying for, yet haven’t received, I get lost in my feelings, instead of praising God for conforming me to Christ. For giving me exactly what I need to attain my ultimate goal, oneness with Him.

So, as I’ve prayed over how to help my family financially this week… how I’ve revisited the best way I know how… I’ve been reminded that I must obey at all costs where He has me. And that’s home with a sleeping 6 month old (tomorrow) on my chest… with my three big girls that I’m desperately trying to prepare for this crazy world… to a husband who needs an encouraging and joyful wife… with a body that still has tons of healing to come… with a possible new local church that builds deep community… and God’s word, that I need to dig much deeper into in the coming months.

I love you all and I miss our conversations. I pray this blog finds you well.

In Him,

Natalie